![]() `And now the big moment, Ladies and Gentleman, our bride and groom Winona and Derek! Doesn†™t she look beautiful? She†™s been practising her bouquet-throwing and hopes to give a good account of herself when the moment comes. Let†™s have a big hand for Alan our third groomsman.†™ Entrance of the Bride and Groom It†™s amazing the things that bring people together. `Our last groomsman, Alan Peterson has known our Groom, Derek ever since they got arrested for brawling at a football match over ten years ago. A big hand for our second Groomsman! ‘ (applause) Third Groomsman Jimmy also did our bride†™s hair tonight. Imagine a cross between Salvador Dali and Edward Scissorhands. Our Jimmy†™s a hairdresser who specializes in some of the more exotic punk rock styles you might see in the music industry. Don†™t anyone let him near a microphone tonight, folks. His interests are rap music and wrestling. He†™s single, six foot four and 250 pounds. Michael, or Junior as big brother Derek calls him, is seventeen. `Our first groomsman is Michael McGregor Junior. Hope you catch the bouquet Daniela.†™ (wide applause) First Groomsman This is her twelfth time as a bridesmaid and she†™s running out of wardrobe space. `Our last bridesmaid has watched `Twenty Seven Dresses†™ five times. Let†™s hear it for Mary Jo.†™ (more applause) Third Bridesmaid `Our second bridesmaid, Mary Jo Zimakowski has known Winona since they were in high school together and as usual, Mary Jo says she has Winona†™s back. Let†™s hear it for wee Emmeline!†™ (wide applause) Second Bridesmaid Gentlemen, Emmeline is single and taking a break from her career as a ballerina to concentrate on bringing home a gold medal at the next Olympics for gymnastics. ![]() `So without further ado and just a little nepotism, we have Winona†™s younger sister Emmeline Walker our first bridesmaid. If the Bride and Groom chickened out, it†™d be two of you tying the knot in their place! There†™s a sobering thought.†™ First Bridesmaid They are the understudies for the Bride and Groom. `Now we come to the Bridesmaids and Groomsmen. Let†™s hear it for Orlando.†™ (wide applause) (The Bridesmaids and Groomsmen) We can†™t wait for his speech and wise counsel. He also assures us, he really is the best man. He†™s there to put his body on the line for his best friend. The Best Man isn†™t just there to pass the ring to the groom. `Now we come to our Best Man, Ladies and Gentlemen, Orlando Jones by name. A tremendous grip on the woman as well! Let†™s hear it for Auntie Meagan.†™ (wide applause) Best Man In Meagan†™s case, she†™s also the Bride†™s Auntie. It†™s been said that Meagan is chosen for her ability to outthink, outrun and generally outwrestle anything with up to eight legs that stands in the way of a smooth-running wedding. `And now we come to the Matron of Honor, Meagan McGregor. A big hand for Michael & Maria McGregor, Parents of the Groom.†™ Matron of Honor Derek†™s parents just got back from trekking in Nepal to be here for their son†™s wedding. `And now, here come the parents of the groom, looking happy and proud. ![]() I†™m not saying which, you both look wonderful tonight.†™ (wide applause) Parents of the Groom As you all know, the day your little girl gets married is the happiest day of the century for every doting parent and don†™t they look radiant? Thank you Brian & Lily Walker, we can see where the bride got her good looks from. Put your hands together for our hosts, the mother and father of the bride. ![]() Please be on your feet as we welcome the bridal party. Introduction of the Wedding Party Parents of the Bride
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